the road less travelled by...

yes, i am angry

very very angry

thank you very much for pressing the button just at the perfect timing

if only you knew you much you really pissed me off

i tried understanding but its getting a bit too much for me

i tried comprehending but i dont understand

i tried giving in but i’m giving in way beyond what i can give already

why must it be always at your convenience and not mine?

why must it be me giving in??

why do i always get the leftovers??

sigh

when will i ever learn to be smarter??

when will i ever learn to not be soo stupid??

grow up abigail

stop dreaming unrealistic dreams

stop wishing for wishes that will never come true

stop hoping for something that will never happen

i really dont know what to believe anymore

it has been a love-hate thing that is going on with me and the fact that i’m back in kl

i love:

having the freedom i now have

having my friends around

i hate:

the fact that i have 2 assignments due in january itself

the fact that i have to complete my notes and charts by chinese new year holidays (and sad to say i’ve got so much to catch up)

the fact that i’m stuck with extremely pathetic internet connection (suddenly internet at home does not seem that bad after all)

the fact that i have to do my own chores (but i do them at home too so oh well)

the fact that i’m stuck with reading, reading and more reading

the fact that exams are 5 months down the road (knocks self onto the walls)

anyway..

on a lighter note

i’m at least progressing with what i have to do..

other than the fact that i’m not able to do my research

at least i’m not distracted by blog hopping and facebooking lol thanks to the lousy internet connection

(sounds relatively positive so yah~!)

*i wish and pray hard for a smooth sailing 2010*

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to all out there,

HAPPY TWENTY TEN!!

time passes a bit too fast for my liking

it felt like just yesterday when i touched down sarawak land

and i’m less than a week away to going back to studying..

what is making it worst is that i have yet to finish all i want to do back here =.= (this is toooo bad)

had been busy baking, sleeping, a bit of working, driving, eating and running errands

ya, add on a tiny bit of research work for legal practise and company law assignments, a lil tiny bit of reading for evidence

and actually that is about it

i had wasted spent my time talking, bonding, crazy-ing with my sisters and part-babysitting cute babies

lol

oh well, christmas is already over (beats me too how fast that went passed)

and 2009 is finally ending with 2010 dawning

all of a sudden,

i dont wanna grow up anymore

reminiscing the past is the worst thing to do,

especially when you realised how much you missed those good old playschool/kindergarten days

where you actually go to school to study, talk and play

soon enough i’ll be a 21 year old adult

believe it or not i’m actually dreading the second that goes by

2009 like 2008, again a year full with dramas, ups, downs, tears and laughters

specific memory? honestly? none

it is actually sad to declare that you finally at the end of it all, all you’ve done is nothing much or substantial for memories

2009?

its the year i devoted myself to my books and finding myself failing

is the year i tried to enjoy my life and again find myself failing exams horribly

not knowing clearly what i did in 2009, i feel ashamed of myself

i only know that time has been passing a little bit too fast for my catching up

two days after today is january 1;

3 months after today i will turn 21;

6 months after today i will finish exams

10 months after today (*prayerfully* if everything goes smoothly) i’ll be in the foreign land of united kingdom

*again wishes hopefully* 18 months after today i will be graduating

suddenly, really, i dont want to grow up anymore :(

it had always been funny and nostalgic looking back at the past,

how i grew from a 4.2 kg baby from birth,

to playschool,

to kindergarten,

to primary school,

to secondary school

and now graduating university

i miss those innocent days,

i miss those carefree days,

i miss those days where you go to school to play,

i miss those days where you become best friends after a 5 minute fight/argument over toys in the classroom

despite recalling great memories about the past,

i often remind myself of my dreams in the future

sometime i think it would be too hard to achieve

sometimes i think it is impossible to achieve what i dream for

what i want, and what i end up getting

had been always different

many a times i wished that things would be a lot more simpler than how it really is

many a times i wished that human beings are not so complicated

many a times i wished that some things would change

but i know it remains a dream and i’m only stepping into a meaner, cruel-er, and tougher society by the day

if you ask me what i want to change about my past year?

i do not know

although,

there are many happenings i wished did not happen,

there are many people i wished i did not have to clash/deal with,

there are many things that i would wish to change

but this year,

taught me how to listen,

taught me to be stronger,

taught me to be more patience,

taught me how to love despite hating,

taught me how to see the bigger picture in life,

taught me how to handle stress better & wiser,

taught me how to deal with certain people differently,

taught me the true meaning of giving up to gain another,

taught me that it is time for me to grow up and be matured,

taught me the meaning of love.

there is really nothing much i can ask for

and there is nothing i would change for the world

i have learnt to embrace each growing up year

and i look forward to the next,

anticipating hard work, tears, and struggles

nevertheless,

deep inside my heart

it will all be worthwhile one day :)

i thank God for leading me through this year

it has been painful,

it has been tough,

to learn how to get up after falling,

to learn how to rely on my faith and walk again

i am back up,

ready and anticipating to embark the journey for another year ahead :)

it is going to be an exciting and interesting year (i believe)

to all my family & friends who patiently and lovingly been beside me through this year

i sincerely thank you for your love, care and concern :)

i am truly blessed to have you in my life :)

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on a lighter note,

i’m going home to have a good night sleep,

get my fever and flu cured for the new year :)

lol

till next year :)

oh, like FINALLY

i’m flying in 5 hours time and i’m waiting for time to pass to go to the airport

pretty much done with the packing and stuff sorting

laundry sent

bags to be locked

phone charging

packed some textbooks and notes with me (hoping that i’d actually touch them when i’m home)

since i’d most prolly be gila-ing away with my darlings and glorious sarawak & home cook food :)

not quite sure about my bed, blanket and clothes since they most prolly belong to one of my sisters by now

but anyway, after 2 1/2 months of torture away from home

i’m a happy girl :)

its raining cats and dogs outside

and i simply hate it when it rains when i need to go out or travel

thank God Jess is travelling along with me

and there is always dramas to keep me company

(i get extremely nervous and restless when flying even though it is just a 2 hour journey)

i’m excited :)

a bit stressed :( that i’ll have so much to do but no time :((

oh well, it will be splendid gila-ing and makan-ing with family and friends :D

all shall be good

more importantly, i sincerely pray that i do not get myself into any sort of trouble/lecture going back this time

till then :)

ah.. the satisfaction of a completed-before-hand assignment :)

the due date is tomorrow (17th Dec 2009)

and i finished the writing few days back and i am just done editing the footnotes, bibliography, table of contents, table of cases etc…

printed the whole thing out and one assignment gone :)

extremely extremely happy since it is the first time i did not go overnight just to finish an assignment

anyway,

the M-I-A-ness since my last post was mainly due to the bulk of reading i had to do

in addition to all the copying, rephrasing, typing and editing

so did not go out much since my last shopping spree in November :P

but then..

i went to the 23rd Sultan Azlan Syah Law Lecture held in Mandarin Oriental Hotel yesterday

compliments from a friend of mine who pulled out last minute

i got the invite to go for the lecture

the lecture was quite good and i was intrigued mainly

because i was hearing a Supreme Court Justice speaking for the first time in my life

its quite a privilege i would say

he practically summarized what i learned in year 1 in 1 hour but i was seriously more fascinated about being in such an event,

being served with good hotel food (when i say good i mean better hotel food than some hotels) lol

and it actually felt good being amongst so many people in the legal line :P

anyway pics are still with izzy… have yet to get hold of them..

to think that i’m done with my assignments and i’m going home soon…

i’m happy

but the thought that i’m left out with evidence, tort, land and company

i’m stressed =.=||

i need to get out of holiday mood and STUDY!!! T.T